Overheard on the Streek & A Joke

Overheard on the streek tonight:  “They knew they couldn’t prove the assault charges…”

LOL!!

And a joke….

Q:  How many Ethiopians fit into a one-man tent?

A:  ALL OF THEM!

Random Jokes! LOLH!!

What’s funnier than a dead baby?
- A dead baby in a clown costume!

What’s funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume?
- A dead baby in a clown costume sitting next to a kid with down syndrome.

How did the blond atone for her sins?
- She douched with holy water!

What did the deaf, blind, kid with one leg get for his birthday?
- CANCER!

What’s worse than getting food in your hair?
- CANCER!

World AIDS Day

I am so excited about World AIDS Day that is coming up December 1. My immune system is already weakening with excitement that I can hardly stay alive. I realize that it is still two whole months away and that this post is a little early but I just can’t hold it in anymore. Just like all white people, I love events that occur one day a year to celebrate/memorialize/commemorate a certain group of people.  It just happens that people with AIDS are my FAVORITE group of people (with black people in close second).

I am in a bit of a dilemma, though.  I can’t quite decide what to dress up as.  Here are a couple of ideas I have so far…

1.  Full-blown AIDS

2.  Man with a caved-in face

3.  A protease inhibitor

4.  Or just be HIV

I wonder if there will be a POZ Pride Parade to go along with the festivities this year…  I suspect that if there is one then Walgreen would be the grand marshall (or perhaps Pfizer).  I can just imagine the chants of the people in the parade – now we stand here broken-hearted, for all the victims who’ve departed – as this year’s theme song “Oops I Did It Again” by Britney Spears plays in the background.  The usual gay cheerleaders will be in the parade except they are not skinny because they are anorexic and/or bulimic.  No, it’s because they are wasting away from their AIDS medication!  (Gosh, just kidding.  Why you so serious?)

Speaking of theme songs, what do you suppose the theme song for super AIDS would be?  Perhaps “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger” by Daft Punk? 

Be sure to send me costume ideas and I hope to see you at the POZ Pride Parade, if not before!

I Lost My Grip

To quote a wise man, “Sometimes you start to lose your grip, but if you’re smart, it is during these times that you learn things you never knew.”

Well, I am retarded; therefore, I lost my grip.  But, I was smart enough to realize that I had lost my grip and took the necessary actions to rectify the situation.  There comes a time when a person’s “roll” must come to a screeching halt.  Mine has.  The days of having my cake and eating it too have come to an end!  I pulled the reins ever so gently (or as gently as the situation allowed) and said, “Woah!”  I am happy to say that for the time being I have regained my grip.

But sometimes I wish the government would just bail me out of my ridiculous predicaments rather than me having to deal with all of the problems that I caused upon myself.  People make mistakes and I shouldn’t be held accountable for ALL of the things I do wrong.  Relationships as we know them could cease to exist if I am not bailed out of my problems.  The entire infrastructure could collapse!  Left would be right, bottom would be top, cheating would be monogamy, gay would be straight, and AIDS would be a RASH!  You see, if I am continually losing my grip there is no other choice than a government bailout. 

So, if you ever see me beginning to lose my grip, stop for a minute and think – Do I really want everything I know to be true to become inverted?

(The answer is no.)

Never a Dull Moment

At my job I am constantly finding myself laughing at how ridiculous people are.  It seems that at any given moment someone is fighting, arguing, or bickering about something or someone.  I mentioned this to my coworker and her response, “Yeah, it’s always THEM, right?”

What?!?!  LOL

GAMES!

For the past two weeks (when I have not been busy inviting then uninviting people) I have baked a cake AND eaten all of it.  For some reason I just can’t get enough CAKE.  The first week I made a double chocolate cake with delicious vanilla frosting.  The second week I made a german chocolate cake with vanilla/pecan frosting.  Boy, was it good!  Those cakes must have been at least a POUND each.  Everyday without fail I pounded each delectable morsel into my gaping mouth.  Just when I thought I could not eat another bite I pounded some more in.  It was as if the cake was saying, “anytime you want to be pounded, I’m up for it!”  I had better be careful, though.  I don’t want to be a fattie!  And that is exactly what I’ll become if I keep having my cake and eating it too.  I mean it’s almost like I’m on a roll or something.

 

And what is it with everyone wanting a masculine guy?  I pride myself in my princess attributes!  Some people say that princesses are only nice if they have castles and horses but I say let my worldly charm speak for itself.  I am who I am!  PEOPLE like to play games, but not me.

Yay!

Your weekly dose of excitement has arrived!

the tbones pcast

It’s been several months since I purchased my Mac and I just now have gotten to creating a podcast. I still have a little more to edit but it is very near finished! I can’t wait to start podcasting regularly!

Be on the lookout for it.

A Joke.

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office…
but she belonged to someone else…

One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, “I’ll
give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you…”
but the girl said, “NO.”

Johnny said, “I’ll be fast, I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend
down, and I’ll be finished by the time you pick it up.”
She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her
boyfriend…
so she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says ask him for $200 then pick up
the money very fast…
he won’t even be able to get his pants down.

She agrees and accepts the proposal.

Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to
call. Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what
happened…She said, “The bastard used quarters!”

Management Lesson: Always consider a business proposal in it’s entirety
before agreeing to it, and getting screwed.