I Lost My Grip

To quote a wise man, “Sometimes you start to lose your grip, but if you’re smart, it is during these times that you learn things you never knew.”

Well, I am retarded; therefore, I lost my grip.  But, I was smart enough to realize that I had lost my grip and took the necessary actions to rectify the situation.  There comes a time when a person’s “roll” must come to a screeching halt.  Mine has.  The days of having my cake and eating it too have come to an end!  I pulled the reins ever so gently (or as gently as the situation allowed) and said, “Woah!”  I am happy to say that for the time being I have regained my grip.

But sometimes I wish the government would just bail me out of my ridiculous predicaments rather than me having to deal with all of the problems that I caused upon myself.  People make mistakes and I shouldn’t be held accountable for ALL of the things I do wrong.  Relationships as we know them could cease to exist if I am not bailed out of my problems.  The entire infrastructure could collapse!  Left would be right, bottom would be top, cheating would be monogamy, gay would be straight, and AIDS would be a RASH!  You see, if I am continually losing my grip there is no other choice than a government bailout. 

So, if you ever see me beginning to lose my grip, stop for a minute and think – Do I really want everything I know to be true to become inverted?

(The answer is no.)

Coat Check, Please!

Last Sunday I went to Northend with BF #4 and two of his friends (just friends?) to have a couple drinks.  For those of you that have never been to Northend, it is a sports oriented bar.  I have never been a huge sports fanatic but I have never hated them either and anything coupled with alcohol can never be that bad of an idea (except maybe AIDS and alcohol – that could be a deadly combination).  

It just happened to be the Bears first game of the season and, as a result, the bar was brimming with MASC men!  (I won’t dare delve into the topic of homo-eroticism and football in this post.)  Never had I seen so many queeny guys congregating in one place attempting to demonstrate to one another that they too can be butchy.  Apparently, all one needs to do to be masc is to wear one’s baseball cap backwards (or a football jersey or a jersey of any sports team for that matter) and spout off some football jargon every once in a while.  Voila!

I have to admit that in the midst of this identity conundrum I still managed to have loads (and by loads I mean cum loads.. jk lol.. just pretend I didn’t say that) of fun!  I had just as much or even more fun than had I stayed out until 5 a.m. at the RE-Berlins.  Not only did I intermittently watch some of the football game, I managed to come in last in a dart competition, win one out of four games of pool, and chug three beers.  At this point you may be asking yourself how an attractive, brilliant, intellectual, genius like myself could possibly have fun on a night like that.  Well, there is a simple (and by simple I mean brilliant) explanation for that.

Most intellectuals like to congregate amongst themselves, discuss the most pressing issues, engage in AIDS related banter, and compliment themselves on how brilliant they are.  Well, not ME!  Unlike most intellectuals, as I catwalk my sexy self through the slew of half-naked bodies of men and make my way to the coat check, not only do I check my 100% pure leather couture jacket and matching scarf (VERY expensive, you probably couldn’t afford it) but I also check my intellect as well.   Now, with the faculty of reasoning and understanding gone, I can have all the drunken, retarded fun I want just like all the other queens!

So, the next time you find yourself quietly sitting in the corner of your neighborhood gay bar having a lousy time just march your proud (and by proud I mean gay) self up to coat check and rid yourself of the brilliance (that your friends never get) and just have fun!

FUN

I definitely need to learn how to do THIS!

Why am I so brilliant?

 

It was a clean sweep at the Spanish Oscars for Días de Nuestras Vidas.

 

Ok.  Let me explain a little.

 

For Spanish class this semester we had to get into groups and had to write, direct, film, and edit a short 10-15 minute film.  Today we watched all the groups films and then voted on best actor, best actress, and best film.  I, of course, won best actor.  A girl from our group won best actress and thanks to my superior editing skills we overwhelmingly won best film!

 

Gosh, I should go into acting or filmmaking or something!  lol

 

I’ll include a link to youtube later on when I get a chance.

 

 

Happy Repeal Day!!!

Also known as EVERYDAY in the gay world, Repeal Day celebrates the joys of getting shwasted!  Now go and celebrate the wondrous freedoms granted in our constitution!