Dreamland.

We are standing in the kitchen as if we had done so a thousand other nights.  The weather is cool and a slight breeze permeates the air.  My parents are here this time.  I think it odd at first, to have you and them together, but the more I think, the more natural it seems.

I complain about things.  You listen.  Like you always do.  Listening has always been something you do well.  You know just the right thing to say during each pause.  Ten measures of music followed by one measure of rest.  Other nights,
we exchange roles, although the song is the same. Tonight, I am the
music, you are my rest.

You are in my room as I enter.  I sit down on the bed.  You then offer me help to the problems I had mentioned earlier.  Help that I never expected… but perhaps should have.

“You don’t have to do that,” I say.  “Really, it’s unnecessary.”

“But I want to.  I care about you and I want to help,”

I slowly get up from the bed.  I walk over towards you and wrap my arms around you.  Your embrace always soothes away the most wearisome of days, but today it is has a feeling like I never felt before.  I smile.  We hold one another as if the world is ending.

“I wish this could last forever,” you whisper in my ear.

We hold each other tighter.  I can imagine myself in no better place than in your sweet embrace.  We then stand here, silently, gazing into each other’s eyes.  Your cute smile withers away all my worries.

“I can tell you’re a really great guy.”

I squeeze you tighter as the words fall out of your mouth.  My heart beats faster.  My mind races in every direction.

I then awake from this mockery of reality to find myself alone.  I rollover in bed and clutch my pillow.  For now this will have to do.

Dreams

Sometimes I think dreams are a way to help us deal with things that are to come…

A Dream

The part of my dream last night that I can remember.

 

 

I am walking outside with my mom and she is asking me about HIV.  Luis is living with me and it is his birthday.  He baked a cake for himself.  

 

I am in the car with my mom and dad driving.  We are going to get a bottle of wine and pull up to a Jewel when it is brought up that we can get a bottle of wine from Trader Joe’s for only $3!!  So we leave and drive to TJ but my dad doesn’t know exactly how to get there.  There is a lot of construction.  My dad missed the exit.  We finally end up there and park very close to the entrance.  

 

While inside I text Luis and say, “What are you doing tonight?”

 

“I’m at a birthday party right now.”

 

“Oh, I wanted some cake.  Will you save me a piece?”

 

My mom and I purchase the wine and leave to get the car while my dad is still shopping around.  There are several cops outside.

 

[cops]:  You can’t park your car there.

 

[mom]:  (whispers under her breath)  Assholes…

 

[me]:  Huh?… Oh, yeah, they’re all pigs.

 

We then get in the car to move it and wait for my dad.  We had to park horizontally on a very steep incline.  (at this point I can remember my sister in the front seat but don’t remember her being in the other parts of the dream)  I am terrified that the car is going to tip over.  I move from the right side to the left side in hopes that my weight might help somehow.  My dad then arrives and somehow guides the car down safely.

 

 

That’s all I can remember.  Such a strange dream to be having!!